Paranoia-Rama: Return Of The ‘Libtard’-Loathing Police Chief, Obama’s Third Term And Hunger Games Exposed

RWW’s Paranoia-Rama takes a look at five of the week’s most absurd conspiracy theories from the Right.

As everybody knows, America is turning into a chaotic terrorist haven filled with race riots that is also somehow a Nazi police state, or at least that is what we learned this week from some of our favorite right-wing activists and politicians.

5) The Secret Government Agent Who Wasn’t

A Pennsylvania police chief who was suspended after videos surfaced in which he shouted at “libtards” and “cocksuckers” while firing a gun, insisted this week that he was really a government spy out to discredit the Tea Party movement and gun activists.

Former Gilberton Police Chief Mark Kessler told radio host Alan Colmes that “several different agencies” in the federal government used him to investigate “Second Amendment groups, patriot groups, alleged patriot groups [and] militia groups.”

This was obviously music to the ears of conspiracy theorists like Alex Jones, but Kessler, who last year said he hoped to start his own militia, now insists that he was just lying to Colmes: “you were all punked hahahaha Alan Colmes is a retard fag liberal! That idiot bought the story hook line and sinker! As did so many other [sic]!”

But don’t worry, Kessler says he’s coming out with a book, which will obviously clear everything up.

4) Obama Inciting Racial Violence

For hard-right activists, President Obama can do nothing right, so of course many claimed that the president’s repeated statements condemning violence in the wake of the grand jury’s decision in the Michael Brown shooting case were in fact solicitations to commit violence.

Sandy Rios of the American Family Association accused Obama of “stoking the fires” and “saying publicly, ‘oh we shouldn’t be violent,’ wink-wink, nod-nod.” She even linked Obama to the brutal murder of a Bosnian immigrant in St. Louis.

WorldNetDaily editor Joseph Farah also alleged that Obama is secretly coordinating riots targeting white people, claiming that the country is witnessing “orchestrated mayhem rooted in Obama’s own visceral hatred of America.” [needs link]

“These protests are not directed at the power structure. In fact, they are orchestrated by the power structure,” Farah wrote. “Obama and company, along with his cheerleaders in the establishment press, are in fact the unseen marionettes behind this puppet show. Am I wrong? Or is this the first time in American history the leadership of the country was deliberately inciting revolutionary street violence directed at police, white people and property and businesses no matter who owns them?”

Alex Jones also feared that the government is using Ferguson to “start a civil war” and play “people off each other racially,” while Alan Keyes said that President Obama is taking a page from Adolf Hitler by “threatening the Republicans, saying that there will be massive unrest if they don’t knuckle under to his will and trying to prove that he’s got the power to turn our cities into powder kegs that will explode in the face of anybody who opposes him.”

3) Obama’s Third Term Plot

The head of Eagle Forum’s influential Texas chapter and the former chairwoman of the Texas GOP appears to be embracing the right-wing conspiracy theory about President Obama grabbing hold of an unconstitutional third term…that is, if he doesn’t succeed in destroying America with a massive race war first.

On her Facebook page, Cathie Adams seemed to suggest that by transferring a small group of Guantanamo Bay prisoners, Obama will pave the way for future terrorist attacks which would give him a justification to remain in office indefinitely.

“President Obama-nasty at it again,” Adams wrote while posting a Newsmax article on the prison transfer. “He’s trying hard to create an irreversible DISASTER so that he can stay in office. Fundamental transformation is painful.”

2) Stop Persecuting Ben Carson By Quoting Him Verbatim

Ben Carson has time and time again suggested that the Obama administration is turning America into Nazi Germany and that President Obama was inspired by Mein Kampf.

But the likely presidential candidate is very offended when journalists call him out on it, telling CNN host Wolf Blitzer that these journalists are “allowing words to affect you more than listening to what was actually being said.” Carson went on to cite the hoax IRS scandal and baseless claims about the end of the freedom of speech as proof of America’s turn towards Nazism, before returning to broad platitudes about freedom and liberty.

“You are just focusing the words ‘Nazi Germany’ and completely missing the point of what is being said and that’s the problem right now,” he said. “That’s what PCism is all about, ‘you may not say this word regardless of what your point is because if you say that word I go into a tizzy.’”

Carson concluded that Blitzer should stop asking him about his Nazi analogies and learn the lesson from “sticks and stones may break my bones.”

1) What’s Really Behind The Hunger Games…

Religious Right pundits are desperate to point out instances of anti-Christian persecution wherever they can find it, including, apparently, in “The Hunger Games” trilogy.

“Generations Radio” host Kevin Swanson took to the airwaves to denounce the movie as one that will train children to target and possibly kill Christians in the future.

“This is warming us up to murder,” Swanson predicted, warning that America is descending into Nazism.