How Glenn Beck ‘Accurately’ Predicts The Future

Despite his terrible track record, Glenn Beck is genuinely convinced that his wild predictions about the future always come true because, as he said just yesterday, he can see the future.

One of the reasons that Beck is able to delude himself and his audience into believing this myth is because he routinely hedges his bets by insisting that he is “terrible at timing,” which makes all of his predictions opened-ended, meaning that they can never be proven wrong since it is always possible that they simply haven’t come true yet.

But the main way in which Beck is able to so “accurately” predict the future is that he constantly spews countless theories on his shows, so that whenever anything happens anywhere in the world that could in any way be spun as a confirmation of something he once predicted, he seizes upon it and takes a victory lap.

On his radio show today, Beck hauled out his trusty chalkboard upon which he wrote down his thoughts about President Obama, Russia, and the North Korea/Sony hacking incident in order lay out at least 20 absurdly vague predictions about looming global chaos and conflict:

  • Chaos in Russia
  • Russian expansion into the Ukraine and beyond
  • War with the West
  • War in the Middle East
  • War involving Syria and Iran and possibly North Korea
  • Chaos in Europe
  • Muslim extremists in Europe
  • Nazis/Communists/Anarchists in Europe
  • A caliphate in the Middle East
  • Terrorist attacks in Pakistan
  • Terrorist attacks spreading into India
  • Terrorism in Australia
  • Terrorism spreading into Asia
  • Communists in South America
  • Hyper-inflation
  • Border conflicts
  • Chaos in the United States
  • Race riots in the United States
  • Political chaos
  • Banking chaos
  • The rise of a police state

“It’s what’s coming,” Beck warned.

Now that Beck has covered all of his bases, pretty much no matter what happens anywhere in the world in the future, he will be able to claim that he predicted it:

Tags: Glenn Beck