Paranoia-Rama: Obama’s Election Theft, Pope Francis’ Diabolical Scheme And Cashing-In On Kim Davis

RWW’s Paranoia-Rama takes a look at five of the week’s most absurd conspiracy theories from the Right.

While some Religious Right groups are busy trying to turn Kim Davis into a modern-day martyr, other conservative activists are addressing more pressing concerns, such as Pope Francis’ murderous agenda, ISIS infiltration of American churches and looming cannibalism.

5) Welcome To America, Pope Francis!

Alex Jones welcomed Pope Francis to the U.S. the only way he knows how: by ranting that Francis is bent on turning Americans into slaves and paving the way for the death of at least one billion people.

Jones added that he was “going to vomit” while thinking about the fawning media coverage of the “slimebag” pope.

4) Kim Davis, Still The No. 1 Martyr

Kim Davis, the clerk of Rowan County, Kentucky, is back in the news for losing yet another legal challenge and reportedly altering marriage licenses as part of her crusade to bar her county office from issuing marriage licenses to eligible couples.

Naturally, Davis’ defenders are using her flouting of the law to raise money.

Liberty Counsel, the extreme anti-gay group that is representing Davis, put it this way in a fundraising email: “The American Civil Liberty Union’s motion to again hold Kim Davis in contempt reveals that their interest is not their clients’ license but rather a marriage license bearing the name of Kim Davis. They want her scalp to hang on the wall as a trophy!”

Another conservative group, the Family Research Council, said in a fundraising email that Davis’ plight would lead to mass persecution of Christians.

Consider that carefully. If “politically correct” government officials will put a Christian like Kim in jail for the faith we all SHARE — well, what plans do they have in store for YOU?

Depending on the circumstances, they’ll do whatever is necessary to drive Christianity from influence in America by indoctrinating your children or grandchildren . . . ruining your job or career . . . getting you to compromise your faith . . . go silent . . . shut up . . . affirm sexual immorality . . . or deny key parts of the Bible.

3) ISIS Everywhere!

While groups like the Family Research Council and Liberty Counsel are on the lookout for phony cases of anti-Christian persecution, televangelist Jim Bakker thinks that people should really be investigating all of the ISIS terrorists who have stealthily joined every church in the U.S.

Pitching survivalist food buckets, Bakker told his audience to watch out for future troubles because “ISIS has already infiltrated every single church in America.”

2) From SNAP To Cannibalism

Bakker is far from the only one trying to stir up fears in order to sell merchandise. Chuck Holton of the NRA radio show “Frontlines,” for instance, warned this week about a nuclear electromagnetic pulse attack.

Along with killing nine out of every 10 Americans, Holton said, an electromagnetic pulse attack will lead to people be “eating each other in the streets, because when you have these sort of systemic issues in our government of nearly half of the people in the United States receiving some sort of subsidy from the government, imagine what happens when all the EBT cards start flashing zeroes.”

Watch via Media Matters:

1) Indisputable Proof Obama Stole The 2012 Election

According to at least one poll, half of all Republicans believe that ACORN, which hasn’t existed since 2010, stole the 2012 election for President Obama.

Those still trying to find proof of this massive fraud finally have some convincing evidence, courtesy of “Trunews” host Rick Wiles.

As Wiles explained on his radio show this week, secretive forces must have rigged the election for Obama, because he personally didn’t know anyone who voted for him, and therefore something nefarious must be at work!