WorldNetDaily: ‘Obama Turned 53 — Or Did He?’

The birther website WorldNetDaily is not exactly celebrating President Obama’s birthday this week, insisting that since his birth certificate is fake, he probably is lying about how old he is, too.

In his column yesterday, “Obama Turned 53 — Or Did He?,” Jack Cashill writes that Obama is not telling the truth about not only his birth place, but also about the year he was born.

The WorldNetDaily reporter cites a 2007 speech Obama delivered in Selma, Alabama, about how his “existence might not have been possible had it not been for some of the folks here today.” Obama was born in 1961, while the Selma to Montgomery march occurred in 1965. Of course, Obama’s remarks clearly referred to the progress of the Civil Rights Movement in general, but Cashill interprets his words literally to suggest that Obama inadvertently admitted that his birth certificate is phony.

In between the two convention speeches, the story of Obama’s birth was told more often than that of anyone’s since Jesus. No one, of course, told it as convincingly as Obama himself, especially in his game-saving Philadelphia speech, immodestly titled, “A More Perfect Union.”

“My very existence might not have been possible had it not been for some of the folks here today,” Obama told the civil rights veterans gathered to mark the events of “Bloody Sunday” in 1965.

“Something happened back here in Selma, Alabama,” Obama continued. This something “sent a shout across the ocean,” which inspired the Barack Sr., “herding goats” back in Kenya, to “set his sights a little higher.”

This same something also “worried folks in the White House” to the point that the “the Kennedys decided we’re going to do an airlift.”

As the saga continued, Barack Sr. got a ticket on the airlift and met Obama’s mother, a descendant of slave owners. “There was something stirring across the country because of what happened in Selma, Alabama, because some folks are willing to march across a bridge,” preached Obama.

“So they got together, and Barack Obama Jr. was born. So don’t tell me I don’t have a claim on Selma, Alabama. Don’t tell me I’m not coming home to Selma, Alabama.”

He didn’t, and he wasn’t. The correct answer is b) comically unanchored to reality.

Although born in Kansas, Stanley Ann Dunham, Obama’s mother, was not exactly Dorothy. She spent her formative years in the state of Washington, hanging with her homies in her school’s “anarchist alley.”

If there ever were a romance between Dunham and Barack Sr., it likely started at closing time and ended when Senior sobered up. In any case, Selma had nothing to do with Obama’s birth.

According to his birth certificate, Obama was born in 1961, four years before anyone outside of Alabama ever heard of the town.

By the time of the march, Barack Sr. had long since abandoned Ann and baby Barry for Harvard where he hooked up with another white American woman.

So preposterous was Obama’s Selma math – by his calculations, he could have been born no sooner than 1966 – that it made the birth certificate seem at least relatively believable. Maybe that was the intention all along.