E.W. Jackson boldly declares that he will not get the coronavirus because he is being protected by God.
Bill Mitchell, who has been incessantly tweeting that concerns about the coronavirus are wildly overblown, reports that he has been unable to produce new episodes of his “YourVoice America” program for several weeks because he’s been suffering from the “flu lite.”
Finally, Rodney Howard-Browne announces that he will continue to hold services because his church is the most sterile building in America, as it contains 13 machines that can instantaneously kill any virus: “If they sneeze, it shoots it down at like 100 mph. It’ll neutralize it in split seconds.”