Mueller Madness: How Trump Is Like the Crucified Jesus, and Other Right-Wing Reactions to Russia Report

Robert Mueller meets with President Barack Obama and Vice President Joe Biden on July 20, 2012. (Official White House Photo by Pete Souza)

Special Counsel Robert Mueller’s long-awaited report of his investigation into Russia’s interference in the 2016 presidential election was released today, prompting the president’s media allies to coalesce into one giant spin machine, falsely declaring that President Donald J. Trump had been exonerated on accusations of obstructing the investigation, and misrepresenting lack of admissible evidence as proof that Trump’s campaign had not colluded with agents of the Russian government to aid Trump’s presidential bid.

Preceding the public release of Mueller’s report late this morning, Attorney General William Barr opened the day with a press conference hosted at the Department of Justice. With redactions made pertaining to ongoing criminal proceedings against Trump associates who were caught in the scope of the investigation, the report was posted to the DOJ’s website. Other categories of redactions include classified information, resources and information obtained via grand jury proceedings, and some names of people cited but not charged

President Trump’s most ardent defenders online flooded the zone, asserting that the Mueller report had exonerated Trump of wrongdoing, and accused national media outlets of perpetuating a false conspiracy theory for years in order to undermine the president’s agenda. Now they were eager to proclaim outright victory.

Or as the president himself put it: “Game Over.”

Rep. Mark Meadows wrote that liberals “went all in on a collusion conspiracy that never existed, didn’t get the result they wanted, and now they’re throwing manufactured controversies at the wall to see if anything sticks.”

TPUSA’s Benny Johnson tweeted a clip of the press conference, including “That sound you hear is libs screaming.”

YourVoice America host Bill Mitchell said that now, America should “prosecute the hoaxers” who told the public that Trump colluded with Russia during the 2016 election.

Similarly, radio and TV host Mark Levin declared: “Now it’s time to investigate the true perpetrators of this coup attempt.”

One America News Network correspondent and ex-“Pizzagate” hoaxer Jack Posobiec thought he spotted a religious parallel.

Mike Cernovich wrote that the release of the report was “a new low for the ‘WMDs in Iraq’ fake news media.”

Fox News host Laura Ingraham wrote that “any network who is claiming that AG Bill Barr was acting in any way unethically here has zero credibility on ANY legal or political matters.”

Donald Trump Jr., the president’s son, simply wrote: “TOLD YA!!!”

Breitbart News’ Joel B. Pollak wrote that the best case scenario for Trump would be if Democrats “continue to chase the Russia conspiracy theory.”

Moderators running the Twitter account associated with Reddit’s leading pro-Trump subreddit posted an image of Barr that read “Deal with it Bitch.”

Trump 2020 campaign spokesperson Kayleigh McEnany declared that Trump was “fully and completely exonerated!”

Monica Crowley, a former Fox News host and plagiarist headed to a new post in the Trump administration, wished her followers a “Happy No Collusion, No Obstruction Day.”

Pro-Trump commentary-and-entertainment duo Diamond & Silk—real names Lynnette Hardaway and Rochelle Richardson—proclaimed that the report proved CNN was peddling some “S.ugar, H.oney, I.ce T.ea” (a phrase they use in place of swearing).

Despite the report’s numerous details about meetings and communications between members of the Trump team and agents of the Russian government, not to mention the matter of apparently deleted text messages between campaign figures about one such meeting, the National Review headlined Jack Crowe’s story, “Barr: Mueller Found ‘No Evidence of Any Collusion‘ Between Trump Campaign and Russia.” A headline on The Gateway Pundit reads “BOOM! NOT GUILTY!” The Daily Wire titled Ryan Saavedra’s article: “Trump Cleared: No Collusion, No Obstruction, No Coordination, No Conspiracy.” The Christian Broadcasting Network managed to find a Democratic state legislator in Louisiana to give the administration’s spin: “’We’ve Got to Get Back to God…What’s Best for Our Nation’: Dem Blasts His Party’s Obsession with Mueller,” CBN’s headline read.

Peter Montgomery and Kyle Mantyla contributed research to this report.