Did the Super Bowl Halftime Show Open a Portal and Infect Dave Daubenmire With a Demonic Virus?

Last week, right-wing activist Dave Daubenmire announced his intention to sue the NFL for allegedly putting his eternal salvation at risk by broadcasting unsolicited “crotch shots” into his home during the Super Bowl halftime show. Despite the fact that his threat has been the subject of widespread mockery, Daubenmire is completely serious and has since begun taking steps to sue not only the NFL but also Pepsi, which sponsored the halftime show, and even the city of Miami, which hosted the Super Bowl.

On Tuesday’s episode of his “Pass The Salt Live” webcast, Daubemire suggested that those responsible for the broadcast may have opened a portal into his home through which he could have become infected with some sort of demonic virus.

“What if there is a [demonic] spirit that accompanies the visual of the pornography?” Daubenmire asked. “What if that opens up, what do they call it? A portal? A threshold? … What if sitting there, watching that soft pornography dance across our TVs, what if there’s a spiritual component to that? What if there is something that comes out of my screen?”

“What if there’s some waves? What if there is something that comes off of that video?” he continued. “What if there’s something, waves or some force that comes off of that? What do they call that stuff? Dopamine. What if that unleashes something in my brain? What if it’s like really and truly infecting me with a virus? What if it is really like that?”