Alex Jones Claims He’s a Super-Duper Secret Agent

Alex Jones, the conspiracy theorist host of Infowars, informed viewers yesterday that he is part of a secret network of undercover agents put in place whom the Army can activate to destroy the supposed rise of communism, should it rear its head in America.

Since Jones was booted off nearly every major online platform last month, Infowars web traffic has fallen and the broadcasts have idled on a handful of time-tested Infowars talking points. In a video uploaded yesterday, Jones tried to spice things up and said that he has been “on the phone with the Pentagon” and a group given the vague description of “the patriots.” Jones said that although he is not personally a part of a “stay-behind network” that militaries created in the 1950s to fight off a potential Soviet invasion, Infowars is a part of that network and that he seamlessly merges “right into it.”

“Yes, I’ll just tell you. We are a stay-behind network for America. It’s the big secret. That’s what we are. That’s why they’re after us. It’s true. The stay-behind network support[s] me. I am from a stay-behind network. Most of my family was in stay-behind networks,” Jones said. “That’s why they hate me. I’m an American. I’m a stay-behind network for America. I’m fighting the Chinese globalist takeover.”

Later in the broadcast, Jones informs his viewers that they are also part of the secret network.

“When I say I’m a stay-behind network, you are. We believe in free market, we believe in the family, we believe in the Second Amendment. You are an agent of America, of George Washington, of liberty,” Jones said.