If a Keyes Falls in the Woods …

Now that Tommy Thompson, Duncan Hunter, Sam Brownback, Tom Tancredo, Jim Gilmore, and even Fred Thompson have all dropped out of the race for the Republican presidential nomination, it is good to see that there are some candidates who have no chance of winning but still refuse to let reality get in the way of their personal vanity and desire to seem relevant … and no, we are not talking about Ron Paul, but rather Alan Keyes.

You would be forgiven for not knowing that Keyes is even running, but indeed he is, even though he can’t get into the GOP debates, has no money, and nobody is counting his votes. But to his credit, Keyes remains undaunted by such obstacles and is currently positioning himself for a major breakthrough:

On Tuesday, presidential candidate Alan Keyes began a six-week grassroots tour of Texas, originally his home state. Keyes is a 1968 graduate of Cole High School in San Antonio.

Although Keyes will make excursions outside Texas as needed, and will continue his nationwide radio blitz to counter the media’s virtual blackout of his campaign, he plans to camp out in Texas until its primary on March 4. As most pundits agree, if Super Tuesday fails to produce a “presumptive” Republican nominee, Texas becomes all the more important as the last big prize of the primaries.

For all intents and purposes, the headquarters of the Keyes campaign has moved to Texas.

“For all intents and purposes,” the Keyes campaign appears to be a sham, with the majority of its expenditures going to “contribution refunds” which dwarf the $10,000 that has gone to a consulting firm linked to Keyes’ Declaration Foundation and Renew America organizations.  

At this point, Keyes’ only hope of securing the GOP presidential nomination is if every major Republican politician in the nation gets embroiled in a sex scandal, reducing the party to desperately seeking a D-list nobody to serve as a sacrificial lamb – a position for which Keyes is perfectly qualified.