Last week we mentioned that Rena Lindevaldsen had written a book about the case of her Lisa Miller, who kidnapped her daughter and fled the country rather than abide by court ordered custody arrangements that conflicted with God’s law.
We ordered a copy and have been reading through it and Lindevaldsen dedicates the entire second chapter to explaining how people become gay. She begins the chapter by admitting that she is not trained as a doctor or psychologist … and then proceeds to explain how people become gay due to poor relationship with their parents and/or sexual abuse:
For men with temperaments that predispose them to same-sex attractions, two key factors are (i) the lack of a strong father-son bond, and (ii) same-sex abuse as a child. For women, two key life factors are (i) the lack of a healthy relationship between mom and dad and (ii) sexual abuse (primarily opposite-sex) as a child …
Picture for a moment, a boy who is artistic, sensitive, talkative, and, as is frequently the case, not very athletic. Now imagine that his father has made clear that he had dreamed of having a boy that would be a star athlete. At some point, in some way, the father conveys his disappointment to his son, either expressly or implicitly – perhaps the father doesn’t spend time with this son or takes no interest in his son’s more artistic interests. The son soon realizes that he hasn’t lived up his father’s expectations and that he’s different (since the kids at school also make fun of his interests and personality.) It doesn’t take long before the son wishes he could be more like his father. Soon, the desire to be more like his father leads to the son idolizing other boys and men who have all the characteristics he believes that he is lacking. In essence, he idolizes all that he thinks he is not. As he gets older, the feeling change from idolizing to a longing to be close with men – to be attracted to them. From the son’s perspective, he hopes that having a sexual relationship with a man he perceives to be all that he is not will fill the void in his life, will make him feel whole, but it does not …
You can change the fact pattern many ways, including a loving father who works such long hours in an attempt to provide for his family that he doesn’t take the time, or even know how, to express signs of affection for his son. Unfortunately, the boy misperceives the lack of attention as feelings that his father does not love him, that he does not measure up to what he should be. If a boy who is dealing with these feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt is sexually abused by an older man, it could send him more quickly down the path of struggling with same-sex attractions – finally he has a man in his life who cares for and loves him; finally, he feels wanted. To a young boy dealing with self-esteem and identity issues, same-sex sexual abuse only compounds the struggles with same-sex attractions.
Lindevaldsen goes on to explain that women become lesbians because of domineering mothers and abusive fathers, coupled with a society that celebrates things like Katy Perry’s “I Kissed A Girl.”
We’ve only made it about half-way through Lindevaldsen’s book, but there are surely more good excerpts to come as future chapters on “Helping Others Make The Choice To Leave The Homosexual Lifestyle,” “How Homosexuality Impacts Our Children,” and “Understanding How The Homosexual Rights Movement Affects You And Your Loved Ones” seem to contain lots of promising material.
Oh, and it is probably worth pointing out that Lindevaldsen maintains a blog at OnlyOneMommy.com.