Paranoia-Rama: Gays Ruining Television, Jim Bakker’s Warning And Mike Huckabee’s Biblical Health Care Solution

RWW’s Paranoia-Rama takes a look at five of the week’s most absurd conspiracy theories from the Right.

The Religious Right rang in 2015 with dark predictions about America’s imminent collapse and God’s judgment under President Obama’s second term. So if you want to survive the remainder of the Obama presidency, you’d better sign up for Mike Huckabee’s email list.

5) Stop Making Larry Tomczak Watch Gay People On TV!

Larry Tomczak knows that the gay community is bent on “targeting innocent and impressionable children,” and he knows just what to do to stop it: kick them off television. The Religious Right pundit is greatly disturbed that “home and remodeling reality shows regularly feature lesbians and gays in partnerships exploring homes” while “Ellen DeGeneres celebrates her lesbianism and ‘marriage’ in between appearances of guests like Taylor Swift to attract young girls.” Even “’Scandal’ has two gays,” Tomczak laments.

“The indoctrination and propaganda coming from those advocating a gay lifestyle in our country, classrooms and culture are increasing,” he writes, urging conservatives to act as “a bulwark against this tidal wave of unprecedented evil.”

He recommends that people turn off the TV and instead start watching “wholesome DVD series and streaming selected programs” such as “The Fugitive, Gunsmoke, Little House on the Prairie, I Love Lucy” and “Leave It to Beaver.”

4) Equating Gays With Charlie Hebdo Assailants

An Atlanta fire chief recently lost his post after distributing to colleagues copies of self-published book containing condemnations of homosexuality, which city officials thought was a violation of employment practices. Of course, he has since turned into a Religious Right martyr.

Erick Erickson, the Fox News contributor and RedState editor, used the controversy to compare gay people to the terrorists behind the massacre at the French satirical newspaper Charlie Hebdo. Another Fox News pundit, Todd Starnes, said that Christians are losing “equal rights” in the U.S. and experiencing a “cultural cleansing.” Tony Perkins of the Family Research Council even suggested that the actions taken by Atlanta’s mayor will spur the violent persecution of Christians in countries such as Iran and North Korea.

Unsurprisingly, American Family Association spokesman Bryan Fischer also weighed in on the matter, and pointed to the fire chief’s firing as a reason that gay people should be “disqualified” from servicing in public office.

3) Who Needs Obamacare?

Mike Huckabee may have temporarily left Fox News to begin exploring a second run for the presidency, but he hasn’t stopped selling his email list to quacks and conspiracy theorists. Huckabee recently sent his fans a sponsored “special message from [the] Health Sciences Institute,” which describes a secret cancer cure found in the New Testament uncovered “by biblical researchers in Maryland.”

That’s right, “a mysterious healing message within ancient scripture” that has even “been verified by one of America’s top doctors.”

The email promoting a “cancer cure on the 859th page of an ancient Bible” that makes “‘untreatable’ late stage cancer disappear” with “zero painful side effects” is just the latest health-related email to be sent from Huckabee’s account; others have endorsed bunk treatments of Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s. Another sponsored email sent out with Huckabee’s blessing give readers advice on how to be “darn sure your family won’t go hungry or get herded into a FEMA camp.”

2) Jim Bakker Has It All Figured Out

In his New Year’s message, televangelist Jim Bakker didn’t hold back about what God told him was in store for America in 2015. According to Bakker, God appeared to him while he was taking a bath, and gave him a morbid vision of the country’s future. Bakker revealed that it will be impossible for the U.S. military to ever win a war as a result of abortion rights, secular government and “taking God out of schools.”

1) What Awaits America In 2015

The Christian Post’s resident prophet Michael Bresciani has issued his predictions for 2015, and they don’t look good. America, Bresciani writes, will soon face a devastating economic meltdown, race riots and divine punishment for gay rights.

The U.S. economy is absolutely set to crash if not slide into its last hurrah. Jobs, new businesses and corporate profits will show declines. Obama’s economic policy, started in 2008, will bear fruit in his lame duck years from which there will be little to no recovery. Racial distractions the promised new warfare with the newly elected republican congress and senate will fuel distraction, but provide little economic relief. The predictions are dire.

Even as markets and corporate earnings begin to show decline radicalism, rebellion and general lawlessness will take Obama’s cue and begin its debut both at home and around the world. From Bush’s drive to increase police and law enforcement to the recent cry of protestors in NYC to produce “dead cops” only someone living on a remote desert isle could not see the spirit of lawlessness beginning to flower.

Under the Obama administration we have gone from the petted slogan “don’t let a good crisis go to waste’ up the ladder to “why not just create our own crisis to keep the nation off balance.”

We can analyze Obama’s policies till the cows come home to see what they mean. A shorter route would be to examine what they are not.

For example, race riots and race baiting are not the protests of the sixties. Opening our borders to anyone at any time is not “Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses.” Bailouts and battles with coal and other energy companies are not free enterprise, but it is welfare for corporations. ObamaCare is not assurance against bad health it is a disease in its own right that promises to leave the nation in death and disarray if not thrown out or seriously modified.

Abortion, the eradication of DOMA and the gay agenda may seem like something debated and finally settled, but they will only settle the future of the nation and nothing less. Already conservatives are debating what will make their list of top priorities for the newly elected house and senate. The Keystone pipeline, immigration and the securitization of the borders are at the top, but so far no one has mentioned abortion or the restoration of DOMA. We may think Obama’s policies are in place and unalterable, but God does not see it that way. If these mis-guided policies are left to stand we will continue to decline and suffer a full judgment as a nation.

Politicians, news organizations and pundits cannot decide the morality of our nation, only our citizenry can make that decision. In the old school of thought such changes were called repentance, revival, renewal and the end of backsliding. Can America wise up in time? That also is entirely up to us. We will soon see that if we don’t return to some old school thinking that class will soon be let out and the school will close completely.