RWW’s Paranoia-Rama takes a look at five of the week’s most absurd conspiracy theories from the Right.
As Pride Month begins, we watch in horror as “the Stormtroopers in the homosexual movement” bring back slavery and let gay people vacation at Disney World.
5) Warning: Gay People Are Going To Disney World
Fearing that families may have to see or encounter gay people on their vacations, Religious Right activists are pushing fears about the upcoming “Gay Day at Disney.”
One Florida-based conservative group, the Florida Family Association, hired planes to fly over Disney World with banners alerting tourists, “Warning: Gay Day at Disney.” An article from the American Family Association’s OneNewsNow was similarly titled: “This is your final warning: ‘Gay Day’ this weekend at Disney World.” David Caton of the FFA told OneNewsNow that the event would be used to “promote the homosexual lifestyle.”
Doing her part, Janet Porter of Faith 2 Action warned on her radio bulletin that “the homosexual agenda is planning to once again descend on Disney World” and “expose your children” to “cross-dressing men [who] will be among those parading public displays of perversion.”
4) Gays Are New Slave Masters
Even if you survived “Gay Day at Disney,” you might still fall victim to the new gay slavery, at least according to Bryan Fischer.
“Apparently someone forgot to tell the Stormtroopers in the homosexual movement about the Civil War, the Civil Rights Movement, and freedom of both will and conscience,” Fischer wrote this week in reaction to an anti-LGBT discrimination case in Colorado. “The leaders of the Gay Gestapo have become our new slave masters. They can now send us to the hole if we refuse the massa’s demands.”
“So meet our new overlords, the new owners of the American plantation, the gay mafia. All hail Big Gay, our new slave masters,” he added.
Believe it or not, Fischer’s slaver rant wasn’t even the most outlandish reaction to the Colorado case. That honor goes to the Family Research Council’s Tony Perkins.
3) ‘Shooting’ Is A Liberal Media Conspiracy
It’s not uncommon for a National Rifle Association spokesman to attack the media — after all, NRA executive vice president Wayne LaPierre once asserted that “the media in this country hates the Second Amendment rights of American citizens and they’ll do anything to try and take that freedom away from average citizens.”
But an NRA News video released a week after the Isla Vista massacre took these attacks on the media to an absurd new level.
In a rant that could easily be mistaken for a parody, NRA commentator Dom Raso attacked the media for using the word “shooting” to describe…shootings.
The media “race to label anything with a gun as a shooting, because they know how much more attention they are going to get with that word,” Raso said, claiming that the use of the word “shooting” was part of a strategy to shift attention away from the shooting’s perpetrator. “Evil is the problem; the tool is irrelevant and stories designed to make you think anything other than the truth are propaganda,” he said.
Just to drive the point home, Raso’s commentary begins with an image of Vladimir Lenin.
2) ObamaCare: Worse Than 9/11
Last year, leading conservative activist Ben Carson told the Values Voter Summit that “Obamacare is really, I think, the worst thing that has happened in this nation since slavery, and it is slavery in a way.”
But it turns out he was just getting started with his sweeping Obamacare criticisms: In an interview with The Daily Beast this week, Carson said that Obamacare is worse than the September 11, 2001 attacks “because 9/11 is an isolated incident.”
Anyone who disagrees with his assessment, Carson explains, just doesn’t read enough: “You have to take a long-term look at the ascent of something that fundamentally changes the power structure of America. You have to be someone who reads. Who is well-read. I want you to go back tonight. I want you to pull out what Saul Alinsky says about health care under the control of the government.”
Naturally, a spokesman for Carson, conservative talk radio host Armstrong Williams, denied that Carson ever “said Obamacare was worse than 9/11” even though The Daily Beast simply quoted Carson verbatim and posted a recording of the interview.
1) Sex-Ed A Democratic Party Plot
Sorry, the jig is up. Conservative education activist Marjorie Holsten this week revealed the truth about teaching sex-ed in school: It’s all about turning kids into Democratic voters.
As Holsten told End Times broadcaster Jan Markell, Democrats are pressing schools into teaching sex-ed because they know “that when children are desensitized to sexual things, that affects their ability at a later date to bond with a spouse. And so if you have somebody who can’t bond, they’re not going to have a stable marriage. When you have unstable, broken households, how do they vote? Democrat. So this has a very evil underlying intent.”
Holsten recommends that instead of sex-ed, children learn about the birds and the bees by watching guinea pigs have sex. Seriously.