RWW’s Paranoia-Rama takes a look at five of the week’s most absurd conspiracy theories from the Right.
There are a lot of problems in America today, and as we all know they are a result of Disney’s “pro-homosexual” agenda, Common Core and ancient Egyptian curses.
5. America Was Cursed By Ancient Egyptians
Did you know that ancient, Baal-worshiping Egyptians came to North America long ago and put the continent under a demonic curse? Well you do now! Just let pastor John Benefiel, who helped Gov. Rick Perry organize his The Response prayer rally, explain:
4. Gay Men Will Turn Women Into Slaves
Anti-gay activist and self-published gay erotic fiction author Robert Oscar Lopez is out with a new warning about gay men planning to turn surrogate mothers into their slaves, which he believes is all part of their sexist approach to women.
“Gestational surrogacy is a dream come true for woman-hating chauvinists who are bound to congregate under such an umbrella: men enjoy all the ‘phallic’ privilege that the bourgeois patriarchy can provide, and women are put in their place,” Lopez writes in his bizarre post on The American Thinker.
“For some time I have pointed out that the 13th and 14th Amendments are separated by only three years, and therefore the gay marriage proponents ought not to be able to cite the 14th Amendment without addressing the fact that champions of dad-only families seem to clash openly with what’s stated in the 13th against slavery.”
3. Send Common Core Proponents To Hell
As Alabama lawmakers debate the future of implementing Common Core standards, one Tea Party leader told members of the State Senate’s Education Committee that those who vote in favor of Common Core are putting their eternal souls at risk.
Tea Party activist Mia Raven warned that Common Core promotes an “anti-Christian, anti-Catholic and anti-American” curriculum that “include[s] far-left proposals such as acceptance of homosexuality, alternate lifestyles, radical feminism, abortion, illegal immigration and the redistribution of wealth.”
“We don’t want our children to lose their innocence, beginning in preschool or kindergarten, told that homosexuality is okay and should be experienced at an early age and that same-sex marriages are okay,” he said. “Do you want this on your record when you come to the End of Days, knowing the Master Teacher said, ‘As much as you’ve done to the little ones, you’ve done it unto me’?”
2. Stop Persecuting Ben Carson!
Ben Carson has made a career out of delivering speeches attacking President Obama, an impressive feat considering that he’s lost his freedom of speech and is facing Nazi-like persecution. After his speech at CPAC where he warned that the “PC Police” are trying to “shut me up,” Carson told Breitbart News that the United States government is now “very much like Nazi Germany” and that political correctness is “creating a horrible schism that will destroy our nation.” In a separate interview with Tony Perkins of the Family Research Council, he said that he is losing his First Amendment rights.
Somehow, he continues to keep giving all these interviews and speeches even though he insists that he is losing his right to speak, and will probably continue doing so as long as conservative audiences keep buying his absurd claims and Nazi analogies.
1. ‘Frozen’ Turns Kids Gay
Colorado-based pastor and Religious Right activist Kevin Swanson is warning parents that the hit Disney movie Frozen is actually a demonically-inspired attempt to make their children gay.
Swanson, who has suggested that the death penalty is an appropriate punishment for homosexuality, said that he knows Frozen is turning kids gay because he is most certainly “not a tinfoil hat conspiratorialist.”