End Times prepper pastor Jim Bakker dedicated his entire television program today to pitching his new line of survival coffee, telling his audience that things will get so desperate when the Last Days arrive that those who are prepared will be able to get a new car in exchange for one packet of this coffee.
Citing the passage in the Bible in which Joseph was put in charge of Pharaoh’s palace in order to prepare for a coming famine, Bakker reiterated his claim that God made Donald Trump president in order to give Christians an opportunity to prepare for the End Times … by buying Bakker’s survival products.
“God has spoken to us to prepare for what’s coming,” he said. “I believe Donald Trump was given by God to give us a respite and give us a time of prosperity. Do you think the evil Antichrist spirit is sitting back? They’re fighting tooth and toenail. Their fighting the president, they want to kill him and, believe me, if they get one open shot, someone will kill our president.”
When the End Times arrive, Bakker said, a bucket of coffee is going to be worth its weight in gold.
“What do you think that is worth if the sun don’t shine?” he asked. “What will it be worth if the power goes out and there’s no truck’s running [due to an] EMP bomb or whatever they’re talking about for these Last Day events? This two gallon bucket of packs of coffee, you could trade them for whatsoever you want. You could probably get a new car for one packet of coffee.”
