God Tells Pat Robertson That 2014 Will Be A Horrible Year Of Chaos, Unless You're A Republican
Televangelist Pat Robertson today revealed what God told him is in store for America in 2014, and it’s bad news unless you are a Republican. Robertson explained that he didn’t receive a New Year’s message at the beginning of 2013 because weather conditions prevented him from going to the mountain retreat where God speaks to him. (Or maybe the 700 Club host was still peeved about his 2012 conversation with God, in which Robertson claims God told him that Mitt Romney would defeat President Obama and become a successful two-term president.)
Keeping with his tradition of passing along extremely vague divine warnings about the country’s unraveling, Robertson reported to co-host Wendy Griffith that God informed him of severe economic problems that will devastate the global economy and the emergence of a nuclear Iran.
But there is a silver lining, Robertson reported: All of these problems will benefit Republicans, who will win control of the Senate in the midterm elections as Obama retreats to become a surfer in Hawaii.
“I think that the world is going to be in chaos this year,” Robertson said. “We’re not going to have a unified world. I think sometime during the year there is going to be some kind of a credit crisis and I think China is going to lead the way. The other thing is I do believe that the Iranians will have a nuclear device before the end of the year and Obama is using a tactic of containment that’s not going to work.”
Robertson did have good news for the GOP:
I do believe that the Republicans will win control of the Congress but they will not have a veto-proof majority…. The other thing is I think that the President is going to be severely, severely hampered. I think that America is going to turn against him much more so than now, as that Affordable Care thing starts biting hard as it is, he’s going to be discredited terribly. As a process, I think that he is going to withdraw. He likes Hawaii, he spent a lot of time in Hawaii and he probably figured, ‘Okay, I’ve done my thing, now let’s go surfing.’ I mean really, he’s got a big airplane to ride around in, he’s got a big staff, he’s got a big expensive limousine to ride in, he can just go bopping around the world and he doesn’t have to govern and I don’t think he’s going to because he can’t get anything through.
Robertson also said that God will bless “people in the pews, regular Christians who are filled with the spirit” with “tremendous healing,” while “Islam is going to be in retreat.”
“It’s going to be the greatest year in the history of the church,” Robertson claimed. “You know, onward Christian soldiers.”
Just in case he was wrong though, Robertson prefaced his remarks by saying: “What is He going to do this year? I offer that with humility saying, let’s see what happens, check it out when the year is over: Was I right or wrong?”
Chuck Norris Gets Behind The Chemtrails Conspiracy Theory
4/25/16 @ 12:05pm
Louie Gohmert: 'The Hippies And The Troublemakers' Are Taking Over
4/20/16 @ 10:39am
Pat Boone: God Will Punish Saturday Night Live For 'Taking Satan's Side'
4/20/16 @ 11:00am
Utah GOPer Says Access To Pornography Violates His 'Right To Not View It'
4/21/16 @ 3:05pm
Pat Boone: The Government Should Outlaw Blasphemy And Punish Saturday Night Live If It Blasphemes Again
4/22/16 @ 2:05pm