Glenn Beck Will Save the 4th of July by Talking to The 'Man in the Moon' in Utah

For several weeks now, Glenn Beck has been talking about his grandiose plans to "change the way we celebrate Fourth of July" so that people no longer sit around drinking beer, watching fireworks, and listening to anti-Americans songs written by Bruce Springsteen.

And he is going to do it by putting on a spectacular live show in which the American story is told by someone "who knows the story of America better than anybody else ... The Man in the Moon."  And, shockingly, Beck has decided that the place best-suited to hosting this groundbreaking, holiday-changing performance is none other than Salt Lake City, Utah: