PFOX

While the American Family Association and Liberty Counsel are calling on parents to prevent their children from attending school today and Concerned Women for America is encouraging a “Day of Silence Walk Out,” other Religious Right groups are trying to add anti-gay “balance” to today’s Day of Silence. Focus on the Family’s Day of Dialogue, which will take place on Monday in order to directly follow the Day of Silence, wants to help students they believe are “messed up sexually.” The “Day of Dialogue” is the successor to the ex-gay ministry Exodus International’s Day of Truth, and continues to employ the same anti-gay rhetoric as the group urges students to use stories like one from Rochelle, about the deleterious consequences of “embracing a lesbian lifestyle”:

Yet the further I plunged into lesbianism, the greater the void in my soul grew. I found girlfriends and guy friends; went to social events, gay bookstores and clubs; wore the clothes, talked the talk, and tried to become the person I thought I was, but deep inside I still was unsatisfied. What appeared to be a wonderful, enriching lifestyle turned out to be an illusion. It looked thrilling and exciting, but in reality, there was backbiting and selfishness, much as I’d already experienced in heterosexuality. People I encountered weren’t satisfied and confident; they were depressed, empty, and anxious, just like I was. What I thought would bring me life and community left only brokenness and bitterness in its wake.

Jeff Johnston, the group’s “gender and homosexuality analyst,” discussed his “road out of homosexuality,” which he blames on his early exposure to pornography, and his experience attending a conference called “Hope and Healing for the Homosexual”:

I learned at this event that I wasn’t alone – there were others in the church who wrestled with same-sex attractions. Some of them had walked away from homosexuality. I also learned that there might be some influencing factors in my life that had steered me toward homosexual thoughts and feelings, my early sexual experiences, for example. And I began talking to people about my struggle.

…

I wouldn’t trade any of my life now for “gay pride” or for “being gay.” There is such freedom in living a life without trying to push down all those secrets, dark thoughts and feelings. There is joy in being a father and a husband. And there is peace in being forgiven.

Like Focus on the Family, the group Parents and Friends of Ex-Gays and Gays (PFOX) wants students to learn about “former homosexuals” and accuses the Day of Silence of “intolerance of ex-homosexuals”:

Regina Griggs, executive director of Parents and Friends of Ex-Gays and Gays (PFOX), says homosexual activists are censoring her group's point of view. "We would love people to make the decision to leave homosexuality, but they can't make a decision when they don't even know former homosexuals exist," she contends.

Pro-homosexual groups are promoting today's Day of Silence to encourage students to remain silent for a day at school to protest society's intolerance of homosexuals and cross-dressers. But Griggs wonders if they are concerned about the intolerance of ex-homosexuals.

"If you're going to worry about sexual orientation non-discrimination and pick a day every year to host it, shouldn't that include all sexual orientations, such as former homosexuals," the PFOX executive director questions. "Where are their rights?"

So she is encouraging students to distribute her organization's literature in schools today so that the message of hope will reach a hurting community.

I don't know what has gotten into Religious Right spokespeople in the last week, but twice now they have called for criminal penalties for gays simply for being gay. 

Last week, the American Family Association's Bryan Fischer declared that we should "impose the same sanctions on those who engage in homosexual behavior as we do on those who engage in intravenous drug abuse," and force them into therapy. 

And yesterday, the Family Research Council's Peter Sprigg appeared on Hardball in opposition to repealing Don't Ask, Don't Tell where he declared that Lawrence v. Texas was wrongly decided and that gay behavior should be outlawed:

Matthews: Let me ask you Peter, so you think people choose to be gay.

Sprigg: People do not choose to be have same sex attractions, but they do choose to engage in homosexual conduct. And that conduct also which incidentally is against the law within the military. It violates the Uniform Code of Military Justice. It doesn't make any sense for us to be actively recruiting people who are going to violate the Uniform Code of Military Justice.

Matthews: Do you think we should outlaw gay behavior?

Sprigg: Well I think certainly...

Matthews: I'm just asking you, should we outlaw gay behavior?

Sprigg: I think that the Supreme Court decision in Lawrence v. Texas which overturned the sodomy laws in this country was wrongly decided. I think there would be a place for criminal sanctions against homosexual behavior.

Matthews: So we should outlaw gay behavior?

Sprigg: Yes.

The last time Peter Sprigg made a statement like this, the Family Research Council forced him to quickly apologize, though I doubt they will make him do so for this statement.

More interestingly, Sprigg is also on the Board of Directors of PFOX and frequently serves as a spokesperson for the organization.  Since PFOX's mission is to encourage and support "ex-gays," I wonder how the organization feels about Sprigg's assertion that all of its members and activists ought to have been treated like criminals.  

Via AMERICAblog we get this excellent article in the Washington City Paper about Parents and Friends of Ex-Gays & Gays (PFOX):

PFOX has always had a hard time getting ex-gays to join the club. PFOX’s board of directors includes a surplus of everstraights but few former homosexuals. Parents of openly ex-gay children are also in short supply. The closest the group comes to fulfilling its name is Griggs, who speaks publicly about her loving—and disapproving—relationship with her openly gay son.

Beyond the one hopeful parent of a future ex-gay, PFOX’s directors are more fit to provide political influence than ex-gay support. Paul Rondeau, the group’s president, is not ex-gay. Estella Salvatierra, vice president, is a civil rights attorney and is not ex-gay. If Scott Strachan, the group’s secretary, is ex-gay, he’s not talking about it. Michelle Hoffman, the treasurer, once told the Montgomery County School Board that “I know many former homosexuals and am proud to call them my friends.” Peter Sprigg, a director, is a senior fellow at the Family Research Council and has publicly identified as everstraight. Retta Brown, a director, is not ex-gay. Robert Knight, a former director of Concerned Women for America, is not a woman and is not ex-gay. Barber, a director, works at Liberty University Law School and is not ex-gay. Quinlan, a director, is ex-gay.

Thanks to Quinlan, the closest ex-gay connection that most PFOX members claim is that they are the “friends” of an ex-gay. They better be. The organization’s ex-gays are stuck with the dirty work: fighting off homosexual urges, inserting themselves into possibly discriminatory scenarios, and never, ever accomplishing the full heterosexuality of the everstraights. Ex-gays aren’t even welcome in PFOX meetings. In an e-mail posted on one ex-gay message board, a PFOX rep made the group’s target audience clear: “PFOX meetings are for families and friends of strugglers only, and not for ex-gays.”

How has PFOX managed to build the local ex-gay movement with the participation of so few actual ex-gays? Through the clever use of a smokescreen. The group claims to represent relatives and friends of ex-gays, which is code for the true constituency—Christian conservatives. Accordingly, PFOX does not deal in ex-gay counseling, therapy, or support groups; PFOX sues people.

A final dispatch from the Family Impact Summit:

The session on Homosexuality and Youth was dominated by the youth division of Exodus, an organization that believes gays can and should be “healed” and that LGBT people should not be protected against legal discrimination. Exodus opposes legal recognition of same-sex couples, same-sex parenting and adoption, and hate crimes laws.

The session drew attention to efforts by Exodus and others to put a friendly face on its anti-gay message. In response to pro-tolerance and anti-harassment campaigns by pro-equality students, like the Day of Silence, Exodus is promoting a product called “Truth and Tolerance,” (truthandtolerance.net) designed to put anti-gay students on record against bullying (alliestoo.org), and calling for tolerance of students who want to make the case that gay youth need to be straightened out by God.

The session was moderated by Scott Davis from Exodus’ youth division. Davis, a former campus minister, blamed homosexuality on the sexual revolution and broken families, and said that young people are searching for intimacy. He said young people need to be taught a “biblical view of gender” and called on participants to help rescue teens by teaching and modeling “correct” genders, mentoring, and giving them a reason to be pure – a deep intimacy with God. (Some “reparative” therapies work on turning gays straight by making the women wear makeup and use purses, while men play football and learn to fix cars as the first step to becoming “real men.”)

Mike Ensley, also affiliated with the Exodus youth section, called himself a “former homosexual” who “never wanted to be gay.” Ensley said relational ministry has helped him correct his “misperceptions” of gender and that Exodus “rescued” him, though he said change is not a 180 degree turnaround but an “ongoing process.” Ensley, like many other conference speakers, also argued that hate crimes laws are being used to “silence” Christians.

Christine, a young woman who leads Worthy Creations, a “recovery” ministry affiliated with Exodus, said she was homosexual at age 15. She criticized church leaders who don’t want to talk about homosexuality, saying pro-gay “propaganda” is everywhere. Like other conference speakers, Christine said there are new reasons for teens to be involved in homosexuality.

In contrast to “classic lesbianism,” to use Ensley's terminology, where women who experienced abuse or were taught that men aren’t safe, girls are now becoming lesbians because of a “try it out and see if you like it” mentality. Christine’s message to young women who try it and like it is that their conclusion shouldn’t be that they are gay, but that “everything works” physically: “Even very unhealthy relationships can feel good,” she said, drawing a parallel to some abused children she said experience pleasure from sexual abuse.

Christine argued that there are four types of homosexuals that need to be dealt with:

1. Militant - Christians need to defend against activists without attacking gays.
2. Moderate - gays who are not ‘out and proud;’ Christians should reach out to them as ambassadors for Christ.
3. Repentant - people who are struggling with being gay or “coming out of homosexuality” and attracted to groups like Exodus. Kristine says she is appalled that some Christians don’t offer them more support.
4. Gay and Christian - sincere but part of “the deception” because they are believing a lie.

Regina Griggs heads PFOX, Parents and Friends of Ex-Gays, though her own son came out nine years ago and apparently shows no interest in becoming “ex-gay.” She blames school counselors and Gay-Straight Alliance clubs for giving young people information that leads to affirmation of a gay identity. The biggest problem, she said, is that parents aren’t standing up to schools and need to be more involved.

Our thanks to YP4 Fellows Mychel Estevez and Zachary Dryden for their coverage of this event.